What Could One Piece Be?
by Albertasteinthe21st.genius
Summary: Collection of unrelated nonsense one-shots/drabbles. Marked as complete, but updated when inspired.
1. What Could One Piece Be?

_**The things I write in my spare time . . . This isn't supposed to make sense, nor is it a poem exactly. It is as the summary says, a nonsense one-shot.**_

 **oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo**

Could it be a device

That will destroy the world?

The history of the world translated?

(You have to admit

Looking for Poneglyphs

Is kind of outdated.)

Could it be a hat

To end all hats?

(Oh, milliners everywhere _shall_ be jealous.)

Could it be a boulder made of gold?

The scientific secrets

Of a younger Vegapunk?

(You never really know

What could happen.)

Or maybe a note

Stuck to a goat

Saying that the treasure's

At the bottom of the sea?

That goat is a pirate's lunch.

Maybe it's a ticket

To a whole 'nother world?

An engine to take

The Sunny into space?

That's why, to get to Raftel, it's a race!


	2. Childhood

Luffy had an . . . interesting childhood. Raised by mountain bandits, friends with a Yonkou, sadistic grandfather . . . yep, _interesting_ is the word. After all, his brothers more or less tried to kill him when they first met.

Sadistic grandfather? I hear you ask. Friends with with a Yonkou? Then, I hear you say, "Wait, Ace tried to kill him?"

Well, I may have been exaggerating the last part. Or not . . .

Shall I start with Garp? Yes, Garp, that crazy man.

Vice-Admiral Garp 'the Fist'. Oh, the things he did. The things he's done. The things he will undoubtedly do. The things his _son_ has done. Don't forget his grandson. Or rather, grandchildren, seeing as he treated Ace as one of his own. But we were talking about Garp, and Luffy, not Ace.

Garp was the man Gol D. Roger surrendered to (or so I've heard). Oh, the irony, seeing as Luffy aims to be King of the Pirates. But, can you reallyu blame the boy? After all, Garp has a strange way of turning boys into marines.

Oh, pity that rubber boy, the things he has been through. In fact, pity anyone who ever had the misfortune of enduring Garp's 'training'.

Luffy has been tossed off cliffs.

Luffy has been tied to balloon and left to float away.

Luffy has been thrown into the forest and left to fend for himself.

In the forest, Luffy was forgotten and left to live with wolves. He was made to fight monkeys because his _wonderful_ grandfather wanted to toughen him up.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Garp is a crazy man.

Not only did Garp put his grandson through the training from hell, he also left Luffy to live with _mountain bandits_. And yet, our dear vice-admiral still expected that his grandson would grow to be a great marine.

Oh, look! The crazy man is sailing away. Goodbye and good riddance!

 **oOoOoOo**

And then there was Shanks. Yep, Red Hair Shanks, the Yonkou, Luffy's childhood idol. Shanks was just as crazy as Garp, in his own way.

Shanks. He drinks an enormous quantity of alcohol daily and yet laughs off every slight no matter how drunk he gets. It wasn't until a certain bandit threatened Luffy that Shanks got riled up. I'll bet that Sea King is still scared of the colour red, even now. But you already know that story. In fact, we all know that story, right up to the part where Shanks gave Luffy his precious Hat. The hat that once belonged to Gol D. Roger, or so the story goes.

That straw hat is a symbol of the fact that Luffy will someday surpass Roger, and become the new King of the Pirates.

Like Shanks, Luffy likes to laugh with the world. Like Shanks, Luffy will protect his nakama at all costs.

Now, let's see, where was I? Wait a minute . . . Is that Garp's ship I see on the horizon? It is. RUN!

 **oOoOoOo**

What can I say that has not already been said? You all know how the story of the D. Brothers goes.

Besides, I'm kind of busy right now. That crazy old man's trying to kill me!


	3. Fishing

Luffy eyed the thing with curiosity, wondering what it was doing on his hammock.

It was a sparkly, ribbon-soaked thing, that had once been liberally doused in glue, and then showered with sequins. And hearts. Lots of hearts, large and small, red, pink and purple.

He poked it, and a few flakes of glitter fell off.

Robin might know what it was. Robin was really smart.

 **oOo**

"It's a Valentines Day card." Robin said with a smile.

Robin was almost always smiling, which was good, because smiling usually meant you were happy, and Luffy wanted his nakama to be happy.

He held the card warily with the tips of his fingers. "So it's a mystery card." he said sagely. Robin chuckled, but didn't correct him.

The ribbons danced in the breeze like wriggly worms.

"Have you read it?" Robin asked. Luffy blinked, since it hadn't occurred to him. He immediately opened the card, only to be assaulted by a great many pop-up flowers and some sort of girly perfume. Wrinkling his nose, Luffy scanned the card for any sign of writing.

"Your secret admirer." he read out loud. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Robin just chuckled at him.

 **oOo**

The ribbons really did look like worms.

Fish liked worms, right?

 **oOo**

"Luffy?" Nami said sweetly, "What are you doing?"

"Fishing!" the captain replied cheerfully.

"What did I say last time you fished and fell off the railing?" Nami said, sounding vaguely threatening.

"Not to." Luffy replied, eyes fixed on his line. _Here little fishies . . ._

Nami scowled, and went to yank the fishing pole out of his hands-

"Wah!" Luffy cried, almost falling into the sea as something tugged at his line. Then he grinned, and _pulled_.

 **oOo**

As everyone munched on roasted Sea King, something occurred to Usopp.

"Hey, Luffy!" he said.

"Mmph?" Luffy said through a mouthful of meat.

"Didn't you eat all the bait yesterday?"

"Mmph."

"So what did you use to catch the Sea King?"

"Mmph." Luffy paused in his vaccuuming to point at the Sea King's head, which Sanji hadn't yet got around to processing. Then the captain resumed his unholy rate of consumption . . . they were going to need more plates soon.

 **oOo**

" ** _Usopp_**. Where did you get that?" Nami asked in a dangerous voice.

Eyes wide, the sniper replied "The S-sea King's mouth!"

There was a pause. Then-

"HE USED IT AS BAIT!"


	4. Thriller Bark

A tenebrous nightmare ship

Plagues the Florian waves

A tenebrous nightmare ship

Full of horrors depraved

 **oOo**

Absolom with his lion's jaw,

Elephant skin and love-sick roar

Pity the poor maidens bright

Who catch this invisible lion's sight

"To the altar with you, my dear

Upon this sailing monstrosity of fear."

oOo

Look out girl! For this way a warthog comes.

 **oOo**

Shall we speak of Perona?

A princess without royal blood?

Oh, that poor stuffed bear . . .

"Shut up, shut up, shut up!"

 **oOo**

And then there is that dear doctor,

With his dear Cindry close.

It is not her heart he desires,

But her looks he loves the most!

Duck, duck, dodge again

As plates sail over your head

I think it's time you flee this place,

This nightmare ship of the dead.

 **oOo**

Is that a batty blonde

That I see flitting about?

Oh dear, I guess not.

It's just an angry warthog's snout.

 **oOo**

And as we pass the cemetery

We see the dead rise from their graves.

Light a match, toss it back

They're flammable, the dead.

 **oOo**

As we duck and dodge the cobwebs

And run upon old bleached skulls

We meet with Cerberus the dog

With his zombie fix . . . oh well.

See now how depressed it is?

The way it hangs its head?

Tell me, why should I care?

It's a zombie dog- It's dead!

 **oOo**

And as we jump into our rowboat

Desperate to escape

We hear some lonely singing . . .

Oh goodness, it's awake!

Now, see hear, skeleton,

We've been through this before

I will not show you my panties

Now, skeleton, meet the floor!

oOo

Leaving behind the skeleton that

Is unconscious once again

We take up our oars and row (and row)

For sun-lit land, we ken.

 **oOo**

Red eyes glow within the mist

Watching us leave it behind

I wonder what that monster is,

And what it thinks we'll find.

 **oOo**

When they ask us where we've been

And what we saw while there . . .

We'll glare at them, and then we'll scream:

"We saw a talking bear!"

Though they'll press us for more

We'll keep our mouths tight shut,

For we have no wish to risk the wrath

Of Gekko Moriah!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Ask us again what we saw

And this is what we'll say

"A tenebrous nightmare ship

Still plagues the Florian waves!"

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 _ **This was originally published on its own. It had 2 reviews.**_

 **Thorn D. Cinni** Mm... very good. Love Perona's verse. (Or maybe I just really like Perona.)

 **arisaphhyre**

I've never really been a huge fan of poetry (don't know why) but this... This was just so damned beautiful I had to re-read it twice just to get ahold of my emotions hahaha.  
Also, I don't think I've ever read a better written poem than this in FF, so for that, congrats XD

Please, keep up the good work


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